A big breakthough for me....

Well, this morning i decided something as i was running, that something was that i HATE to wear wigs! For those of you who don't already know, i wear a wig because i have alopecia, but this wig keeps me from doing all the things that i love to do and i'm sick of it! Its annoying to run because the plastic on your head just makes it sweat like crazy, I can't swim without worrying the whole time that it might come off, i can't enjoy myself at lake powell because i'm afraid to show the real me, i can't tube down high speed rivers like i would love to because i'm worried i'll get tipped and then loose my hair, i get scared at amusement parks, not because i'm a sissy but because i don't want my hair to fall off on some insane rollarcoaster, i can't enjoy myself at any beach because the waves would definitely take it right off. I can't pull my hair back and get it out of my eyes up into a ponytail. And I'm even worried around little kids that they might accidentily pull it off. This all may sound stupid but its real. There are so many things that i would love to do, that i'm dying to do, but i don't dare because of my hair.

This morning while i was running, i decided that i'm through, sure i'll still wear it to work (they didn't hire a bald girl), to church, to stuff like that but i'm sick of it being some big secret because really, its who i am, i sure don't like having this disease but honestly, there's nothing i've been able to do about it in the past and i doubt there's much i'll be able to do about it in the future. For those of you that had no idea that i wear a wig and are wondering what in the world alopecia is, keep reading...

When i was 11 years old, my hair started falling out, it began with just a really high hairline in the back but then continued falling out in different spots all over my head, it would usually fall out, and then grow back. All through middle school and high school i did my best to cover the bald spots with the hair that i did have but by the time i was a senior there just wasn't enough and i had to get a wig. When this was all happening i had started dating John. He always knew that something was wrong with my hair but never pushed it, and i didn't tell him for a while. At the beginning of our senior year, i finally told him and the cool thing was is he didn't care. When we decided that it was time that i needed to start wearing a wig, John was the one that shaved the hair that i did still have so that the wig would fit better. He was there for me through everything and he loved me anyways. I've actually been so blessed with great friends and family who were always supportive and loving of this thing that i was always so embarrassed and angry about. Doctor's always told me it was stress related but who doesn't stress out when their hair keeps falling out? I've always wanted to know why this had to be my trial, why did i have to go though this? I mean, most people go through trials and then their done, but my trial is never ending, it doesn't get over, it just gets worse. Its been a hard thing in my life but when i look back, i realize how lucky i am to have my family and friends around. I'm grateful for my parents, for spending all the money they did on different doctors to try to find the source of the problem. I'm grateful for them for spending $850 every 8 months or so because i needed a new wig. I'm so grateful for John for always being by my side and understanding when i just can't take it anymore and i'm grateful to him for marrying me when he realized what a high maintenance person i have to be because of my hair. But you know what, i don't want to spend $850 anymore on wigs, i'd much rather use that money for something else, i don't want to be sad and embarrassed anymore because of something i can't control. Everybody else still loves me and i guess it's time i start loving myself and learning to live with the things i've been challenged with.

I'm not going to be afraid anymore to go running without my hair, i'm not going to be afraid to enjoy myself no matter what i'm doing and i'm going to start to live my life to the fullest. Its time to let it go and i hope i can do it. So here i am, no secrets, no nothing, just me.

I guess its time again

Well, my husbands finally home! He got back last tuesday and its been great to have him back. Thanks everyone for all of your encouraging comments too, i've really appreciated it and needed it this last week or so. Well, Thursday i finished my last test for my last class and now i'm completely done with my summer classes! I'm so happy and relieved and i've celebrated by starting to re-read all the twighlight books to prepare for the 4th, its out already (yesterday) but i need a little refreshing before i start it.... i've already heard though, that its kind of a disappointment, but i'm going to read it anyway because i've always wanted the disappointing thing to happen (bella ending up with Jake, i just really like him:)... it's been so nice to relax, without having to worry about school! I guess i'll enjoy this for a few weeks until it starts all over. Anyway, this last weekend was also our ward campout, it was alot of fun. John and i drove all the way up there, the 2 of us on his 1 person motorcycle. It was such a long ride, all the way up to skyline and down wagon road but i was fun, and he let me have the foot pegs for most of the ride (what sweetheart :) ). We took our three man tent and our friends the Piepers stayed in it with us, it was crowded but a lot of fun. I just love camping, being in the mountains, being able to enjoy the fresh air and the millions of stars. It was fun. And Today, we celebrated my birthday. My mom made cincinnati chili and cheesecake. They were both so yummy and for my birthday i got a cute apron and food storage... i guess the last one wasn't the most exciting gift i've ever gotten but i do realize its important and i am thankful for it! Thanks mom and dad! Love you guys! We've been pretty crazy busy since John got home on tuesday, as you can see. And its just going to keep getting busier because this week we're going to Lake Powell! (i'm so excited!) and the next week is the elk hunt, then the week after that we're moving to Logan! We're definitaly excited for the big move but i guess i probably should start packing now since we're going to be gone for most of the time before! Anyway, i'm sorry that this was kind of a boring post but i just wanted to catch up on whats been going on. I love you all and i'm so thankful and lucky for great friends and amazing family, thanks for your love and support!!! Oh and check out the amazing beard my manly husband can grow in just a few short weeks....
For my birthday, i asked if we could leave it for a few days because he just looks so good with it! We trimmed it up a bit, and took clippers to it after this last picture, it was short and nice. When he got sick of that he shaved everything but a sole patch and it looked dang good too. I'm so glad he's home!

Thomas Family Reunion

John's mom was a Thomas and every year or so they all come down to Palisade's State Park for their family reunion. This year, John's mom was in charge of it and it was a lot of fun! John wasn't able to come to any of it because he's still gone on the fire, but i went up everyday and it was fun! I Didn't take a whole lot, but here's just a few pictures...Here's everyone just hanging out eating dinner in the shade, and below is john's cousin Breanna and her son Shane, he was my little swimming buddy and just so so cute. Here is John's cousin Matia and her fiance, they are getting married next month

Everyone is just helping cutting vegtables for Thursday's dinner, this was also the meal that was right before the Thomas Family Amazing Race.... tons of fun

Here's Jess, she's john's cousin Golden's wife and she's having a baby boy in November!
Here is Shane again, with me this time, he was such a funny little kid.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 1 or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?

Happy Happy Birthday!

So Wednesday was my birthday, the only thing that would of made it a little better was if John was here! He was so so so sweet though, he called and had gotten me a surprise massage! It was so nice, and then he also sent me flowers, he's was so thoughtful! After work, i spent the rest of the day at John's family reunion up at Palisades and it was really fun, they must have made an annoucement or something because everyone told me happy birthday all evening. It was a good time, my mom said we could do a birthday dinner when John gets home, so that'll be fun, and he gets home next tuesday! Wahoo! Now it seems that he actually might come home... Anyway, life is good, and here's a picture of the flowers he sent me along with the cute card from John's parents, oh i love his family!

Wow, i'm truly blessed

After looking at my sweet double chin as the first thing you see on my blog, i decided that i'd better hurry and get another blog up to take its place.... So, this is going to my my

Things I love about my Husband Post:

1. His Smile
2. The way he thinks about everybody else before himself
3. How he serves the Lord
4. His good looks- he basically always looks good.... and he so strong, and.... manly.... okay, maybe thats enough.......
5. He is so understanding
6. His love and support in all that i do
7. The way he stands up for the things that he believes in while at the same time never offending anyone
8. His hard working attitude
9. The way that he loves to give and serve everyone around him
10. The way he lets me have whatever i want
11. He trusts me
12. He's so coordinated and good at everything
13. How he's always up for anything, no matter how worn out he is
14. He's so good with kids
15. When he wants something, he's not afraid to work for it
16. He goes running with me whenever i want, he seems to understand when i just need to.
17. How he loves to make me smile
18. How he puts up with me no matter how onry i am
19. The way that he LOVES everything that i make, no matter how many times i make it because i just don't know what else to make....
20 how he just wants me to be happy
21. and finally, becames he married me! I could go on and on of all the things that i love about my husband but perhaps the most important thing i love about him is that he loves me! He wants to spend eternity with me, it gives me reason to try to be better, happier, more loving and giving. I love him so much and i stand in awe of how lucky i am that he chose me. I hope to never disappoint him, but even when i have he has stood by my side and helped me along the way. His smiling happy face is something that i could never get sick of, I'm just so GRATEFUL to be married to the best husband in the world! Love You Honey!

Sunday....

Well Today was my old roommate michelle Miller's homecoming, she just got back from England on thursday and it was fun to see her! She gave a good talk and had good food, I went over with a couple of John's best friends and it was fun. In her talk she talked about getting our daily 5 in, these being morning prayer, evening prayer, scripture study, bear testimony, and give service. I thought that those things were definatly important to focus on so i'm going to take her challenge!

Yesterday though, I got to hang out with Russ and Aubrie May, it was actually really fun! And it was so good to be doing something with somebody else! It'd been a while with John gone and everything, we went to The Dark Knight and i hated it, but the company was good! I just have never seen a movie with more killing in my life, it was bad....sorry if any of you liked it. I'm just not into violence much i guess. But we had a good time and then last night Peter and i went running, i made the mistake of telling him that he could decide where we went and so he took me on this hour long run, over 6 miles. It was intense but it also felt good, everything except for massive blisters on each foot. It was fun though and it always feels good to exercise. I've been able to talk to John every day that he's been gone, so thats been so nice, I love him and miss him though. I can't remember if i mentioned that we bought a motorcycle, but we did, and its pretty sweet, Its a dirt bike, John hasn't seen it in person yet... lets just say he's excited to come home for a few other reasons than just seeing my smiling face. I'm excited for him though, he just loves motorcycles, he's going to make it street legal so he can drive it class in logan.... Yes that makes me a little nervous but oh well. Anyway, Simeon is on his way up here to show me how much money he has so i better go! He's was hilarious, he told me he was going to go get his money because he wanted to show me how much he had and he said "i haven't even lost it yet!" good for him, he's holding on to the money he's made form selling rocks..... way to go Sim!

Lonely Wife Syndrome....

Well, i thougth being away from John all day long was hard..... but now i'm alone for 3 weeks straight and thats harder than anything! John left last Saturday to California to fight fires with the forest service. He should be home in another 12 days..... it seems like forever. I just don't know what to do with myself when i'm not at work! Oh well, i'm sure it will pass. But i've been meaning to blog about the 4th of july but i was waiting for the rest of my pictures (on Emily's phone) but i guess i'll just show a few of the ones that i have, it was a blast! I love the 4th of July and i love it especailly here in Manti! John had never been to the park so i drug him over and we had so much fun! After the park we went to my parents and had a BBQ while John and his brother played in the annual tennis tournament.... We'll just say, they're going to practice for next time. Anyway, I'm done 2 with 6 or my 12 credits i'm taking right now! Wahoo! I only have a few assignments left, and 1 test left and then i'll be done with the others too. I'm so happy to be so close! It should keep me busy until John gets home, if not, i've got a huge list of books i've wanted to read but haven't dared start with my classes going because once i start, i just can't stop! Anyway, I'm so grateful for John! I'm grateful for his hard work for us, but i sure can't wait to have him home!!!! (And we're not even half way there yet...)
Here is some pics, enjoy:
Well I'm remember why i didn't post pictures of the 4th of July yet... because for some reason it doesn't work! I don't know what the deal is but i'll try later! Sorry!

My rOckStaR husband

So John told me the other day that he's always wanted to be a rockstar, but he got married and so now he can't... but that doesn't stop him from rocking out every once in a while and honestly, he really is quite the rocker! Check it out....

Camping!!

So we went camping friday and Saturday down to big rock candy mountain with the Chamberlains in our ward. It was so fun! Joseph and Jennifer are crack ups, we had a blast. This is the night we got there, thinking everything was just going to be perfect.... and then we realized we forgot everything! It was quite the adventure trying to figure out how to make pancakes with no skillet or spactualla, and how to get tin foil dinners out of the oven with no shovel, glove, towel, or anything. This is how we ended up getting our dinner out of the fire (at least we brought roastin' sticks!!Joseph got his hands all dirty doing this, no extra water, or soap, so John lent him his pants for cleaning...Gosh! They even look good first thing in the morning! We had a great time sleeping in our cool new tent that John got for his birthday.
Saturday morning was the day for tubbing! John and i were the ones that were so excited about it, so we thought we'd try it out first.
We got all ready to go, realized how cold it was, sunk when we tried to sit 2 to a tube and decided that that just wasn't going to work. The Chamberlains decided to rent a 2-man kyak instead. It was so fun floating down the river! We'll be going back for sure!But mine and Jennifer's legs got so fried! We're been so sore ever since we made it home, here's just a pic, you can kinda get the idea....
Even though we forgot everything, it still turned out fun and Joseph now jokes that he's writing a book about the adventures with the Van Ormans... should be an interesting read...

Pageants over!!! But here's some pic's.

This is just pageant and was super fun, John and i just did stage crew on some nights, and extra special nights, we went to the cast meeting (okay only once because rumer's were that maybe Pres. Monson would be there... he wasn't but it was good anyway!) This is us in our black....



John was gone for a week straight! And i missed him so much. He went to price for work and stayed there til Friday, while he was gone, he grew this sweet Go-T (okay i really don't know how to spell it so now you'll at least know what i'm talking about) isn't he one hottie!!!

Just a little bit...

So i've been putting off blogging because we haven't taken ANY pictures of ANYTHING in the past while, not that nothing exciting has happened though, yesterday John and I finally went up to Orem for his birthday dinner at Tucano's!!! (yes, his birthday was over a month ago) but we still got a free meal and it was totally worth the drive :). Also, yesterday was free fishing day and john was just so excited for my brother's and his nephews to go so that they could get all of these cool prizes! It was a great day for fishing (snowing, muddy, felt like January) and true to his word, he managed to get everyone the prize they wanted. It was actually really fun and we all had a good time, my brother's haven't stopped practicing casting with their new poles ever since we've been back. Last Tuesday we got to spend the night at the temple! Pretty cool huh, yeah, thats what we thought too until it actually happened! I guess they ask only the student married ward for volunteers to camp in the tent on the temple grounds that has all the sound and lighting controls in it for security reasons, we got there, finally kicked all the light workers out of our tent around midnight, slept terribly with the wind and rain and woke up to getting soaked (along with all the equipment) from the sprinklers at 5:30 in the morning... Lol, it was a pretty interesting night and we couldn't help but laugh at how rediculous it was! Needless to say, we probably won't be doing that again, but i'm grateful for a husband with such a good attitude! I love him so much! Well, there's a bit of an update for now, i'll try to do better! Life is good, and really, i'm still the luckiest girl in the world!